Epiphany: Follow Me

Sixteen years ago, at Warren Willis Youth Camp, on a Friday night that summer, I approached the altar with dozens of other young people, and prayed to God: "I don't know what this really means, but I want to follow Jesus. I have no clue where this will take me or what I am really doing, but I know that you love me, and I love you back." 

Our gospel reading this week is Matthew 4: 12-23. Take a moment to read it.

As much as I would love to fully relate to Simon and Andrew, I have come to appreciate their story too much. 16 years ago, I went up to an altar with dozens of other kids my age, with the support of several camp counselors, worship music, and the expectation that something would come out of that week at camp. Simon and Andrew, however, initially decided to follow Jesus while they were working. It's not like they were fishing for fun, either. That was their family trade, their family business. They left it all, everything they knew, to follow Jesus. 

I love that moment I had at camp 16 years ago---it has led to where I am today, and there are so many experiences I have had because I follow Jesus. It was that moment that I remembered when I decided to go to seminary, and then to pursue full time vocational ministry. I wonder if Simon and Andrew ever recollected that moment when they were following Jesus, even in the hardest times. 

What is a moment you can remember that helps you follow Jesus? What memory, or memories, can you go back to that remind you of your call to follow Jesus? This life of discipleship is not easy; we need these memories in order to remember why we do it in the first place. Perhaps your moment is one like mine, or one where you were keenly aware of God at work in the world, even your own life. Whatever these memories are, there are reasons you have decided to follow Jesus.

Or maybe you are unsure of this whole "I want to follow Jesus" thing. It seems like a lot of work...What difference does it make?...It seems risky....

I have my doubts too. I am unsure. I am afraid of the risks. I don't know what it will mean. I don't know if it is worth it all the time. And that's OK. Jesus himself once asked God if God was sure about sending him to be arrested and killed (Matthew 26: 36-39). 

I need this reminder to follow Jesus. It is not a one time decision, but a life-long process. Walking with God happens every day. Just like it is hard to get out of bed some mornings, following Jesus is not easy. Nothing worth while is ever easy, though, is it?

Prayer: For Holiness of Heart by Howard Thurman

Lord, I want to be more holy in my heart

Here is the citadel of all my desiring,

where my hopes are born

and all the deep resolutions of my spirit take wings.

In this center, my fears are nourished,

and all my hates are nurtured.

Here my loves are cherished,

and all the deep hungers of my spirit are honored

without quivering and without shock.

In my heart, above all else,

let love and integrity envelope me

until my love is perfected and the last vestige

of my desiring is no longer in conflict with Thy Spirit.

Lord, I want to be more holy in my heart.

Amen.

In Christ, 

Jack