The Lord's Prayer: Forgive Us as We Forgive

Forgiveness...

This is one of the greatest things God ever does for us. How beautiful forgiveness is from God...though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be like snow though they are red like crimson, they shall become like wool (Isaiah 1: 18, NRSV). Forgiveness is life-giving, liberating, and graceful. And the thing about grace, is that it has nothing to do about us (except that we receive it), and everything about whoever is giving it (earning forgiveness is a myth)

Forgiveness is defined as:

To excuse for a fault or an offense; pardon.
To renounce anger or resentment against.
To absolve from payment of (a debt, for example).

More strictly, to forgive “is to grant pardon without harboring resentment.”

Why Forgive? Because forgiveness transforms! People consistently become more loving, friendly and compassionate after deep forgiveness. Emotional pain is released. Depression departs. And, healing can even occur in the body. Joy returns. Laughter is found again.


Why forgiveness transforms the mind’s functioning is open to speculation, yet we do have the easily observable fact that it does. We can observe that when the bitterness, grudges, and resentments of the past are let go of, life energy becomes much more available to that person. How much life energy depends on how much energy has been put into holding resentments and bitterness?

People who say they have done complete forgiveness of all the people and situations in their life, live a life with much joy in it. They get sick much less often and people are more friendly to them than before their forgiveness transformation. Some say they don’t get sick anymore as long as they hold no upsets with people. This, though, is not an easy state of mind to attain. But, the pay off is great.

Some have deeply religious experiences after their forgiveness and reconciliation experience and say they have a deeper understanding of life and love. Their relationships with people, in general, get better, and their friendships deepen. They are less stressed and angered by daily personal and world events. They find it easier to get over upsets. Forgiveness has tremendous potential, but it must be used.


We have some major myths and lies about forgiveness, which may get in the way of actually doing it, which is another big problem I think we have. When we forgive, we are un-burdening ourselves, we are lifting a weight off of our shoulders. Holding on to grudges is not healthy for us, and it is letting something someone else did to you control your life. Here are some myths about forgiveness:

Forgiveness is not the condoning of a bad behavior or the justifying of an offense.

It is not dependent on apology, or whether the person will ever be talked to again.

Forgiveness does not imply turning the other cheek to allow the offense to occur again.

It does not demand reconciliation. Reconciliation, which is the coming together again of two upset parties, is not necessarily the outcome of forgiving. A person can forgive and choose to never see the person again to protect themselves from abusive behavior. However, for effective reconciliation to occur, forgiveness of the offense or offenses must have occurred.

It is not dependent on the person being alive or ever seeing them again.

Forgiving is not losing. Losing is having to deal with the stress of anger and hate in your body that ruins relationships, and can even cause physical problems. What kind of winning is that?

Forgiving is not the easy way out. It takes more courage, authenticity and integrity to let go of a justified upset and find peace. It takes courage to go through the wall of anger and resentment to the other side, the side of our highest possibility as a being.

The offenders apology is not necessary. In fact, they might not ever apologize because they have a different perspective of what happened.

Whether the person deserves forgiveness is not the question, they might not. Though forgiveness can be an act of compassion for another, it can also be mainly for the forgiver so that they are no longer burdened by hate and anger.

Even though they keep doing the offense, forgiveness can still occur, because forgiveness wipes away the effect of the past even if it was only 15 minutes before.

Out of sight out of mind or forgetting about it might not always be forgiveness but can be denial of the effect of the offending act. Forgiveness acknowledges what was done and chooses to let it go, but not through avoiding its impact on us. Avoiding just keeps the negative effects occurring below the surface of the mind.

These myths and misunderstandings about forgiving keep it from being done.

Jesus encourages us, by gifting us the words of the Lord's prayer, to pray for forgiveness as we forgive.  As we forgive others, we are set free. I believe that being forgiven prompts us to forgive others. Sometimes we are unable to forgive someone for what they have done, because we have done something similar, and we can't forgive ourselves for it! Jesus tells us that we are forgiven, so that we can forgive others. If God can forgive us, we can forgive others. Think of the possibilities forgiveness allows! Initially, forgiveness allows us to be set free from anger, hate, and resentment, which could lead to less stress and better personal health---healing. It may also help us to forgive ourselves for what we have done. At best, forgiveness can help to restore relationships through the process of reconciliation (although we have learned this is not always the case).

Forgive us, Lord, as we forgive.

Prayer*:

'Forgive our sins as we forgive,'
you taught us, Lord, to pray,
but you alone can grant us grace
to live the words we say.
How can your pardon reach and bless
the unforgiving heart,
that broods on wrongs and will not let
old bitterness depart?
In blazing light your cross reveals
the truth we dimly knew:
what trivial debts are owed to us,
how great our debt to you!
Lord, cleanse the depths within our souls,
and bid resentment cease;
then, bound to all in bonds of love,
our lives will spread your peace.

Amen.

In Christ,

Jack

*Forgive Our Sins as We Forgive, United Methodist Hymnal, 390.

I learned the majority of what I expressed on this post from Jim Dincalci of The Forgiveness Foundation. Their website is http://forgivenessfoundation.org/ and his book is "How To Forgive When You Can’t"